guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
