so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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