So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
