4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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