It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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