I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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