Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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