Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Barsexuality is the new black.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
