Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
