he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
