You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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