I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
