i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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