Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
