What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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