Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
