This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
