i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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