She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
