remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
