too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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