So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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