before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
