i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
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it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
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Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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