I think I died a long time ago.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize