Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think I won the penis lottery.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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