Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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