Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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