dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
