I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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