there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize