i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
