hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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