I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
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When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
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finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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