Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
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I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
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I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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