i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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