this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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