she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
