just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
