It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize