I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
