Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize