you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
