The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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