i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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