You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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