My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
