My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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