There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize