Well apparently he's into motor boating.
why didn't you poke me back
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
