Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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