I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
