I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
