Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
