It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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