My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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