Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You ruined the universe
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
