i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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