my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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