I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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