This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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