Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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