Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
