I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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