Your face is a jimmy john
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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