I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
