Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
