im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
