Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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