Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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