Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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