I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
