I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
